info

When visiting people dying in hospice, I discovered the unexpected: life and forgiveness.

Cancer is not on the list of "how would you choose to die" scenario. What patients all said here, was that what they did have by having cancer was time to make amends and to heal past wounds or regrets with people in their lives.

Leslie B. contemplates what cancer has done to change his appearance yet he talks more about how he made peace with his past.

×

When visiting people dying in hospice, I discovered the unexpected: life and forgiveness.

Cancer is not on the list of "how would you choose to die" scenario. What patients all said here, was that what they did have by having cancer was time to make amends and to heal past wounds or regrets with people in their lives.

Leslie B. contemplates what cancer has done to change his appearance yet he talks more about how he made peace with his past.

×
info
The Zicklin Jewish Hospice is one of four Hospice centers in New York City. There are 10-15 residents being given care around the clock by a well trained staff who are versed in the importance of savoring every moment. The center accepts people of all faiths. Most at this location are from the Bronx, like Elvy Butler who naps in her apartment after lunch. ×
The Zicklin Jewish Hospice is one of four Hospice centers in New York City. There are 10-15 residents being given care around the clock by a well trained staff who are versed in the importance of savoring every moment. The center accepts people of all faiths. Most at this location are from the Bronx, like Elvy Butler who naps in her apartment after lunch. ×
info
William Jones likes to keep his room neat and in order. A near death experience in a car accident years earlier changed the course of his life and crippled his knee. A "fighter" who likes to "be first in everything", William knows how to keep his will to live in tact. He has outlived his diagnosis of liver cancer for years, by what he says is "keeping positive and focused." ×
William Jones likes to keep his room neat and in order. A near death experience in a car accident years earlier changed the course of his life and crippled his knee. A "fighter" who likes to "be first in everything", William knows how to keep his will to live in tact. He has outlived his diagnosis of liver cancer for years, by what he says is "keeping positive and focused." ×
info
Harold Kohon lives downstairs in an assisted living facility so that he is as close as possible to his beloved wife Pauline. Harold believes that "It's very healthy for human beings to have friendship, it's like a food but more important. And that is why it's so important to be nice to each other and when we are not, it's what is wrong in our lives and in the world." ×
Harold Kohon lives downstairs in an assisted living facility so that he is as close as possible to his beloved wife Pauline. Harold believes that "It's very healthy for human beings to have friendship, it's like a food but more important. And that is why it's so important to be nice to each other and when we are not, it's what is wrong in our lives and in the world." ×
info
Odell Clark said that she used to be a very large woman who didn't like to talk much to anybody. She cannot look at herself in a mirror any longer yet what she likes now is how kind her nurses are and that she has made friends in the least expected place. She wonders how many more friends she could have had if she had been more open in her life. ×
Odell Clark said that she used to be a very large woman who didn't like to talk much to anybody. She cannot look at herself in a mirror any longer yet what she likes now is how kind her nurses are and that she has made friends in the least expected place. She wonders how many more friends she could have had if she had been more open in her life. ×
info
Odell passed away two days later. ×
Odell passed away two days later. ×
info

Elvy Butler was one of Odell's good friends at Hospice.

Elvy said at first she didn't talk to Odell because Odell "didn't talk to no one". Which annoyed Elvy who decided that she would choose to keep being nice to her, to approach her every day. "I thought, well honey you ain't going nowhere so let's make the best of it"

×

Elvy Butler was one of Odell's good friends at Hospice.

Elvy said at first she didn't talk to Odell because Odell "didn't talk to no one". Which annoyed Elvy who decided that she would choose to keep being nice to her, to approach her every day. "I thought, well honey you ain't going nowhere so let's make the best of it"

×
info

Elvy's philosophy is "do unto others as you would have others do unto you. If someone treats you nasty, you don't have to treat 'em nasty back. Treat 'em nice. Let God take care of the rest because he will".

Elvy gets her hair done by nurse Jennifer and they talk about Elvy's family outing to Atlantic City that past weekend.

While she has been in residence at Hospice Elvy has helped to reconnect her family to each other.

×

Elvy's philosophy is "do unto others as you would have others do unto you. If someone treats you nasty, you don't have to treat 'em nasty back. Treat 'em nice. Let God take care of the rest because he will".

Elvy gets her hair done by nurse Jennifer and they talk about Elvy's family outing to Atlantic City that past weekend.

While she has been in residence at Hospice Elvy has helped to reconnect her family to each other.

×
info
When Elvy was very young, she was shown kindness by a wealthy white woman in upper Manhattan who saw not that Elvy was black but that she was a bright young eager girl. This woman's kindness was something that shaped Elvy's life and attitude towards everything she did. She took great pride and appreciation in her work. She would remind herself to be fair no matter what to the person in front of her no matter what color or race they were. ×
When Elvy was very young, she was shown kindness by a wealthy white woman in upper Manhattan who saw not that Elvy was black but that she was a bright young eager girl. This woman's kindness was something that shaped Elvy's life and attitude towards everything she did. She took great pride and appreciation in her work. She would remind herself to be fair no matter what to the person in front of her no matter what color or race they were. ×
info
These are the stories you hear at Hospice. Each resident will say in their own way, that the most important thing is how you treat others. The footsteps walked mattered most when one was kind and that towards the end, that was all that mattered and what was remembered most. ×
These are the stories you hear at Hospice. Each resident will say in their own way, that the most important thing is how you treat others. The footsteps walked mattered most when one was kind and that towards the end, that was all that mattered and what was remembered most. ×
info
Medications are complicated and monitored very carefully by every nurse, each week is carefully organized with extra pain medication always on hand. ×
Medications are complicated and monitored very carefully by every nurse, each week is carefully organized with extra pain medication always on hand. ×
info
Leslie B. is feeling good this day and decides that he is going to surprise Elvy who isn't feeling so well, by making her crab for lunch. Residents have access to small kitchens if they feel like cooking or have family visiting them. ×
Leslie B. is feeling good this day and decides that he is going to surprise Elvy who isn't feeling so well, by making her crab for lunch. Residents have access to small kitchens if they feel like cooking or have family visiting them. ×
info
I am allowed to take Leslie out in a wheel chair and ride a bus that takes us to a small store where he purchases ingredients for his surprise lunch to Elvy. ×
I am allowed to take Leslie out in a wheel chair and ride a bus that takes us to a small store where he purchases ingredients for his surprise lunch to Elvy. ×
info
Leslie is over 6'4" and according to him used to be quite tough. "I was a bad ass who didn't care about no one.... but I found out that no one likes to be treated badly unless they're nuts or something is wrong with them... it comes back to you, if you treat others nice you will be treated nice. I love it that way." ×
Leslie is over 6'4" and according to him used to be quite tough. "I was a bad ass who didn't care about no one.... but I found out that no one likes to be treated badly unless they're nuts or something is wrong with them... it comes back to you, if you treat others nice you will be treated nice. I love it that way." ×
info
Leslie's cancer of the stomach intensifies. He is not able to eat or drink during the final week of his life. Here he is singing very softly to the radio, a song by Madonna called Borderline. No matter what the style of music, he knows all the words. ×
Leslie's cancer of the stomach intensifies. He is not able to eat or drink during the final week of his life. Here he is singing very softly to the radio, a song by Madonna called Borderline. No matter what the style of music, he knows all the words. ×
info
The staff at Hospice are an invaluable group of very caring and present individuals who make up the nursing and administrative staff. Their backgrounds are varied some from Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Ireland and the Bronx. Nurse Jennifer tends to Leslie's increased pain, hoping that he might feel well enough to sit up and paint, a pastime he discovered he enjoyed through one of the volunteer programs at the center. ×
The staff at Hospice are an invaluable group of very caring and present individuals who make up the nursing and administrative staff. Their backgrounds are varied some from Jamaica, Dominican Republic, Ireland and the Bronx. Nurse Jennifer tends to Leslie's increased pain, hoping that he might feel well enough to sit up and paint, a pastime he discovered he enjoyed through one of the volunteer programs at the center. ×
info
Leslie sets up a still life of a hard boiled egg and a hammer but doesn't feel well enough to paint it. He brings the phone close him, waiting for his sister to call. ×
Leslie sets up a still life of a hard boiled egg and a hammer but doesn't feel well enough to paint it. He brings the phone close him, waiting for his sister to call. ×
info

"I was the meanest baddest person, I didn't care about no body...until I found out..."

Leslie had time to make ammends in his life, to reconnect to his children and sister. He said that if he were to have died in his sleep or been "hit by a bus" that he would have left wounds unhealed and that now, where and how it counts, he is a free man.

×

"I was the meanest baddest person, I didn't care about no body...until I found out..."

Leslie had time to make ammends in his life, to reconnect to his children and sister. He said that if he were to have died in his sleep or been "hit by a bus" that he would have left wounds unhealed and that now, where and how it counts, he is a free man.

×
info

How you face your life is how you will face your death.

The message from everyone at Hospice is why not be kind? Try being brave and apologize now. Forgive yourself and others and take care of your regrets.

See everyone and treat everyone as you would treat yourself, see everyone as you.

×

How you face your life is how you will face your death.

The message from everyone at Hospice is why not be kind? Try being brave and apologize now. Forgive yourself and others and take care of your regrets.

See everyone and treat everyone as you would treat yourself, see everyone as you.

×
info

Hear their Voices

×

Copyright © 2022 Nancy Dionne

Using Format